Episode 3 of American Horror Story: 1984 aired on Wednesday and we have a whole lot to say about it. The main thing being “What. The. F*ck.” Ryan Murphy went from what was already an 80 to like 10,000 real fast.
There’s so much that went down in this episode that we don’t really know where to start. So let’s just start at the begining.
The episode opens with Ray, Chet, Brooke, and “Rita” all hiding in a cabin as The Night Stalker is trying to break in. But when he reaches the window and is almost inside, Ray has the greatest plan of all time. No really, it’s great. His plan is… To split up… Because we’ve seen that work so many times.
While this is going down, over in another cabin Montana, Xavier, and Trevor are hiding from Mr. Jingles. Or so they thought. It turns out that it’s actually ‘Jingles Night’, where on the anniversary of the Camp Redwood massacre, kids dress up as Mr. Jingles, complete with a mask, and terrorize people. Major season 1 vibes. But of course the real Mr. Jingles shows up and offs his imposters.
Back to the great splitting up plan – Brooke and Rita, Chet and Ray. We see the boys fall into a ditch while running, filled with spikes at the bottom. Spikes that impale Chet‘s shoulder. Ouch.
As Chet goes unconscious and they’re seemingly stuck in the ditch, Ray confesses to accidental murder. He obviously hasn’t seen any horror flicks before because you always, ALWAYS, check for a pulse. Y’know, before you try to stage a death, just for them to come back to life and you end up actually killing them anyway.
Elsewhere in a flashback, we see Fake Rita hiding in the back of Real Rita‘s car after she follows her up the mountain towards Camp Redwood. We find out her real identity is a serial-killer-obsessed-psychologist, Donna Chambers. She’d helped to plan Mr Jingles‘s escape so she could ‘study’ him in his ‘natural habitat’… (sounds legit)… she seems more like an obsessed fangirl to us.
Hey, Fake Rita, next time you’re going to knock somebody out to assume their identity, there’s no need for that creepy smile. Just knock them out. You’ll never be Pennywise… stop trying.
It’s such a shame Mr. Jingles finds Real Rita after she escapes being tied up. She didn’t need to die. We were really rooting for her and her great hair.
Next, Montana, Xavier, and Trevor run into Ray in the forest (after he leaves Chet in the spike pit – rude), and Montana and Ray make a break for Trevor‘s motorbike to escape the camp and call for help. But after Montana is cornered by The Night Stalker, in true Ray fashion, he leaves on the bike alone thinking ‘everyone for themselves.’ But, he doesnt even make it out of camp before he’s decapitated by Mr Jingles, armed with an axe. Oh karma, we love you.
But, probably the biggest shock so far… girl code didn’t exist in the 80s. When Montana and The Night Stalker are left alone, it’s revealed they’re allies after they kiss. And now the biggest question: Who was Montana talking about when she said “Why the hell haven’t you killed her yet?“. The obvious answer is Brooke, it’s who The Night Stalker has been targeting since LA. But we really wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out to be Chef Bertie. Ryan Murphy loves to f*ck with us.
Who do you think Montana is talking about? Tweet us @MDRNMAG and let us know what you thought of Episode 3, and who you think is going to die next? And also, what’s going to happen to Brooke? She just has the worst luck.
Words: Jace Chiappetta | Featured Photo: American Horror Story / FX