You Might Be in 5SOS’s Sweaty Vault Cult IF…

A Handy Checklist to See if You Are Safe From Their Clutches

The release today of “The Vault”, a darker, heavier version of 5 Seconds Of Summer‘s single “Easier“, has seen a new wave of murmuring amidst their fanbase about the band’s shift away from the Force and towards the Dark Side. Darth Vader is shook.

Who belongs in 5SOS‘s Sweaty new Vault Cult? We’ve got a handy list of symptoms you can refer to!

You Might Be in 5SOS’s Sweaty Vault Cult IF:

• You are still waiting for the “Beside You” music video

• You have one or more tattoos dedicated to them

• You know more about their personal lives than they do

• You’ve ever used the term ‘sossie’ in a sentence

• You own a flannel with the word “idiot” painted on it

Photo: Cal Aurand.

• You’ve ever had a chocolate milk party

• You’ve ever watched some random guy spray paint a wall for more than three hours (and would do it again)

• You look at breadsticks differently

• You reference keeks on the daily

• You waited over 24 hours for something to happen when they tweeted this:

• You even know the talking parts on LiveSOS … and you say them at their real concerts

• Your heart stops when you see blacked out SUVs

• You use Calum : Hood the way everyone else uses hotel : Trivago

• You’ve ever shouted pow pow pussy pussy along with the radio

• The word Ketchup produces fond memories of a loved one

• If you know what sayuwami means

• You own ANYTHING with a tally mark on it

If you find yourself experiencing any of these symptoms, do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Consult your doctor immediately, or possibly an exorcist. We hate to be the bearer of bad news, but …

5 Seconds of Summer
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Words: Natasha, Celine, Jace, Mar | Featured Image: 5SOS VEVO

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